Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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