I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
