we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
