last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
i think i just lost a toe
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
