my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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