Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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