i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
