I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
he shaved USA in his pubs
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Randomize
