mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
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