that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
