he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
