if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
