he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Randomize
