He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
