i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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