Grow some girl-balls and come out already
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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