the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
