we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
