it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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