you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
