The maid of honor just puked.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
is that a dick in a sweater?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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