For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
