it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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