Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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