I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
