OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
No subtext here. People are naked.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
