That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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