Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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