twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
