It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
