I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
