I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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