my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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