he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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