If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Sober January is a disaster.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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