At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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