Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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