How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I AM VODKA MAN
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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