I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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