Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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