Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
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