I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize