He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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