have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
