Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
