I'm gonna have a badass scar
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It's shark week go big or go home
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
