At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize