I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
