I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
