i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
