Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Randomize
