I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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