the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
