Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
