I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
