He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
