The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
