It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
