he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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