You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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