??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
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