We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
