Don't you send me to vm
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
