hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
